


I Can't help fallin' in love with you

by Dusenka_sab



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Gwaine and Percival are in love, Gwaine is still alive, M/M, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-16
Updated: 2020-04-16
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:28:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23684668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dusenka_sab/pseuds/Dusenka_sab
Summary: [...]"I can't trust you, Gwaine" Percival's words come like a slap, sharp like a blade and Gwaine feels suffocated without being able to explain the reason for so much suffering. "Whatever you say now, you will have forgotten it tomorrow. So save your breath."[...]
Relationships: Gwaine/Percival (Merlin), Perwaine - Relationship, Sir Gwaine/Sir Percival
Comments: 5
Kudos: 74





	I Can't help fallin' in love with you

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone!  
> English is not my first language and I'm sorry if there are some mistakes but i've tried my best so please have mercy on me.

When Percival opens the door, he finds Gwaine in front of him, leaning completely against the woody surface, unable to stand.

"Hey Percy!" Gwaine exclaims and his tone is high, too enthusiastic.

Percival makes space for him at the door and with a nod invites him to enter, because it's raining outside, ‘cause Gwaine is drunk and ‘cause he is beautiful.

Gwaine slings into the house, with his boots muddy and wet, his clothes soaked and his hair stuck on his forehead. He shrugs and turns to look for his friend.

"What are you doing here?" Asks Percival when he stands in front of him, and perhaps he should’ve asked that before invites him inside. But it's too late now.

"I came to see you." Gwaine's response is slurred, his mouth is kneaded with alcohol and Percival has to fight against a small part of himself who wants to throw him out and go back to sleep.

"It's late at night, Gwaine" Percival reminds him, who is still standing in the center of the room, with his arms at his sides and only a pair of night pants on him.

"To sleep with you?" He tries again and a mischievous grin comes out on his lips, while he moves his wet hair away from his face. "Don't you want to sleep with me, Percy?" He adds as he steps forward in the direction of his friend, clumsy and uncertain steps. Gwaine says Percival’s name with a hoarse and low voice, reaches the knight and faces him, bold as always, with a languid gaze.

Parcival hesitates, he is fought by the multitudes of emotions that populate his mind and he feels his face, shoulders and everything burning, 'cause of Gwaine. Then he sighs softly and with a low look he utters a feeble "yes, I want to" which he knows it's wrong. Because Parcival knows that Gwaine is using him, he knows that he only looks for him when he feels lonely after getting drunk and he knows that he is the one who allows him.

But he can't help it.

Gwaine no longer offers him time to think and captures his lips in a kiss that takes him away even from himself, because suddenly the thoughts cease to exist and in his mind there is only Gwaine and his mouth. Percival returns that kiss with the same enthusiasm as the other, while surrounding Gwaine's body with his powerful arms, holding him close.

Gwaine feels small in Percival's big arms. He continues to kiss him again and again with some urgency and arrogance, with tongue and teeth, without ever taking a moment off, not even to get air. Not even when, with a small leap, he surrounds Percival's waist with his legs, who smiles against Gwaine's lips and tries in every way to manage that grueling and exaggerated rhythm, as he moves around the room, trying to reach the bed with Gwaine anchored on him.

Once reached, he lets Gwaine falls over the bed and hears him complains, murmuring something in response to that gesture. Because he would have liked to do it against the wall, standing and wearing clothes.

"Make me yours, Percy." Gwaine's loose tone directly affects on Percival's erection that he feels so wrong for how he feels, because he knows he is not reciprocated, not as he would like.

"You come here because you need to be fucked, don't you? Tomorrow you will disappear, as you always do" words come out without being able to control them, because this situation has been going on for too long and he is the only one suffering from it. Percival's face is one notch from that of Gwaine, who is lying half-length on the bed, while the other is sitting next to him and looks at him in the dark and lusty eyes that give him torment.

"No, that's not true," Gwaine replies and a chuckle betray his tone, unable to remain serious even at certain moments. Then reaches Percival's face with his fingers and touches his soft lips "I want you, you want me, let's get it over with."

Percival yields at Gwaine's touch who has now brought his fingers through his hair and his lips are on his neck, licking and biting his skin with a certain lasciviousness. Gwaine is good at it and he knows it. He knows Percival's weaknesses, knows which keys needs touch to make him collapse at his feet and doesn't miss the opportunity to do it as many times as he wants.

Gwaine reverses positions, manages to make Percival lie on bed, while he gets up to be able to undress himself and pile his clothes in a corner of the room. He straddles the young knight's pelvis and rubs himself with some urgency because his erection requires attention and requires them right now. Percival's large hands are everywhere on him, caressing his back while his fingers tighten in Gwaine's long still wet hair.

Gwaine touches the muscular torso of the man below him, leaving wet kisses along the chest and emits moans that sound more like a wail to Percival's ears: the wait is extremely annoying.

But when Percival finally takes him, he does it without hesitation just as he is asked to do, no foresight or delicacy, as Gwaine wants, whose only purpose is to enjoy and reach the embrace, without feelings or other frivolities.

Gwaine wakes up at the first light of dawn, with his head that seems to weigh a ton and the sense of vomit that grips his stomach. He doesn't even remember that he collapsed exhausted on Percival's chest. He tries to extricate himself from that grip that are the arms of the knight that surround his torso and once he has succeeded, he tries his hand at finding his clothes, finding them lying still wet on the floor.

He quickly gets dressed and leaves home without looking back.

When Percival wakes up the sun is already high in the sky and he feels an annoying press on his chest, he turns over between the covers hoping to be wrong but once again the mattress is empty, next to him. As always.

Percival blames himself for everything, he can't help but feel stupid, unconscious and in love. Deeply in love with a man who didn't love him and would never love him.

\- - -

At the training field, Arthur is dueling with Elyan, while Sir Leon, Percival and Gwaine patiently waiting their turn in a corner of the field, with Merlin who is happy to not be the target this time.

At the end of the duel, Sir Leon runs to congratulate his King, commenting the techniques used during the clash, while Arthur wipes the sweat from his forehead and grabs the bottle that Merlin is offering him to drink some water.

"Gwaine and Percival, it’s your turn!" The King turns to his two knights and with the gesture of a hand invites them to take swords and start training.

Gwaine doesn't even look at him, he draws his sword and goes over him to take place in the arena. Percival lets out a heavy sigh and shrugs to ease the accumulated tension, then grabs the hilt of his sword and reaches Gwaine.

The duel begins, Gwaine attacks first, launching decisive strikes against Percival who is careful to parry each blow with the blade of his sword. But when he suddenly meets Gwaine's gaze, Percival collapses because images that portraying them together the previous night follow one another in his mind and it hurts his heart. Gwaine takes advantage of that moment to launch the decisive blow, managing to disarm him and steal his sword. Then the knight points both blades at his neck and smiles victorious and satisfied, before dropping the other's sword on the floor and turning to face the King.  
"Percival, what's wrong with you?" Arthur's tone is concerned, as he reaches both of them in the arena and places a hand on Gwaine's shoulder to compliment him.

"I got distracted, Sire," humbly admits Percival, who bends to pick up his sword while Gwaine looks at him sideways, something grips his stomach: is guilt what is feeling?

"Try again, this time I don't accept any distractions."

Percival replies with an affirmative nod of the head and holds the hilt of his sword in his hands, striving to stay focused on duel.

Gwaine, who still can't explain what is making him feel so bad, mentally slaps himself and attacks again first, angrily this time: because he can't accept to feel so bad for a man who is nothing but his occasional fuck.

Percival defends himself, dodges every blow before deciding to move on to the attack and when he does, he believes he has finally got the situation under control.

Gwaine gives him a look that hints at how unprepared he was for such a reaction and attacks with more anger than before, finally managing to hurt him and knock him on the ground: Percival moans in pain upon impact with the ground and remains paralyzed for a few moments. Moments that Gwaine decides not to waste and thus throws the sword away, on the lawn, he also disarms Percival before hurling himself on him and starting to hit him with his bare hands, punching the face of the knight below him who wriggles and fails to dodge all his shots.

"What the hell is wrong with you ?!" Parcival yells, his mouth smeared with blood and saliva.

In the distance, Arthur is screaming at them as he runs up to them, followed by Sir Leon who intervenes promptly to divide the two knights.

"What the heck are you doing ?! Is it so difficult to stick to training ?!" The King's tone is hysterical, confused and surprised by the deplorable attitude of his knights.

Sir Leon locks Gwaine's shoulders, pulls him away and is about to get punched in the face but manages to throw one before him, knocking him out. Then gives him an accusing look and hurries to help Percival get up.

\---

Merlin joins him as they return to the armory, holding Arthur's armor and sword in his arms, and stares at him, worried.

"Are you alright, Gwaine?"

Gwaine looks regretted, absently scratches the back of his neck with one hand, then gives him a lopsided smile with a split lip and nods "Yes, it takes much more the a punch to knock me out."

Merlin does not believe him, but does not want to insist and trigger an unwanted reaction from his friend, so he nods and keep walking without saying a word.

Once in the armory, Gwaine neatly arranges his armor and looks for Percival who, on the other side of the room, has a dark look and arched shoulders while is trying to take off his chainmail.

Sir Leon enters his view, has an indecipherable expression on his face and Gwaine sees him advancing in his direction. Gwaine pretends not to see him, looks down and is about to turn and leave the room when a hand grabs his shoulder. He rolls his eyes, sighs heavily and turns to Leon who looks at him, guilty.

"Gwaine, wait"

Gwaine patiently listens, knows that Sir Leon is a noble and righteous man, but he cannot help being angry and resentful towards him. After all, he had been punched right in his nice face.

"I'm sorry about that, but you were out of yourself."

"It's alright Leon, I would like to smile to you but as you can see, it's a little difficult at the moment." Gwaine's answer comes prickly to Leon's ears, who can not help but nods and looks down.

In the meantime Percival had managed to change his clothes and places his armor and was now overtaking them, flanked by Elyan and go to get his wounds medicated by Gaius.

Gwaine follows him with his eyes, while Sir Leon is still making excuses which he doesn't know what to do with it and when Percival passes him, the other knight is forced to swallow several times for anxiety.

"Hey Percy" He doesn't even know where he finds the strength to whisper his name and stupidly hopes that the other hugs him, tells him that everything is fine and that he forgives him.

But Percival pulls straight on his way and leaves the armory without a word.

\---

Two shots.

Percival wakes up and looks in direction of the door, grunts exasperated and shakes his head.

This time he won't give up, not after what happened. Not after what he had to go through.

He turns his back at the door and tries to go back to sleep.

"Percival, please" at the other side of the door, Gwaine is calling him. Percival manages to understand that he is drunk, once again. As always.

"Go away, Gwaine," Percival replies, with his eyes closed and his hands covering his aching face. He presses on his wounds, causing himself pain, to remember the pain that Gwaine had cause to him and still doing.

"I'm not leaving. It's pitch dark, I'm unarmed and I can't go home."

Percival gets out of bed, takes a few steps towards the door and leans his forehead against it.

"I'm sorry for what I've done," admits Gwaine and for the first time in his life he recognizes to be sincere towards him, despite the alcohol in circulation and the lack of lucidity. "I'm not just referring to what i've done durin the training… but"

Percival decides to open the door and Gwaine believes he is missing a beat at his friend's vision, with his face swollen by the blows. Gwaine struggles to stand and gasps, looking for air as tears threaten to scratch his cheeks.

"But what?" And Percival is seriously intent on knowing what he means, tight on his shoulders and leaning against the door jamb with one arm covering his stomach while the other is lying on his side.

Gwaine hesitates, aware he's in way over his head, but something pushes him to go ahead, because he finally wants to be able to get rid of this lump in his suffocating throat. He wants to be free to express his feelings, finally becoming aware of them.

He steps forward towards the knight, extends an arm in his direction, with the intent to touch his face with his fingers, but Percival withdraws an turns his back on him, disheartened.

"I can't trust you, Gwaine" Percival's words come like a slap, sharp like a blade and Gwaine feels suffocated without being able to explain the reason for so much suffering. "Whatever you say now, you will have forgotten it tomorrow. So save your breath."

"why did you complicate things?" Gwaine accuses him, raising his voice. Percival turns suddenly to look at him with an interrogative expression in his face. “What do you mean?"

"I mean that we were fine! But you had to ruin everything with feelings!" He spits angry, because in spite of everything he cannot accept having really fallen in love in the end.

"You were fine!" this time it is Parcival who raises his voice and clenches his hands into fists, clenching his jaw and sighing loudly: he is tempted by the idea of wanting to return the favor, beating him until his hands bleed, causing him the same pain. If he can't hurt him emotionally, he can do it physically. But Percival is better than that, he is reflective, he is patient, but above all he is in love.

" You can fuck me every night, do whatever yo-." Gwaine's words die in his throat, because the tall man interrupts him, overlying his words in a loud voice.

"This is not what I want!"

"And what the heck do you want, then?" And Gwaine already knows the answer, but he wants to be told, because everyone wants to be loved after all.

But Parcival surprises him, "Leave it, you wouldn't understand!" Could him? Gwaine is too cowardly to ask himself: he had never loved anyone, he doesn't see why he should have started now.

"You're just a fool, Parcival!"

Parcival nods to his companion's words, then gives him a bitter laugh, without hilarity

"I know, because I fell in love with a man who only used me, hurt and deluded me, all this time."

"Is that how you feel?" The same twinge that hit him on the training ground feels his stomach twist and a strong sense of nausea that he wants attributes it to alcohol. One hand rests instinctively on the belly, while the other goes on the chest, as if he feels suffocated.

"There is no day when I wake up and I don't feel a shit because you are not here by my side after spending the night together. There is no day my thoughts are not directed only to you. Because you're always in my mind, Gwaine." Percival has never interrupted eye contact with Gwaine, his blue eyes are full of tears that silently streak his cheeks and he does nothing to stop them.

After what seems like an eternity, finally Gwaine takes a step in his direction, reaches him and takes both his hands in his, which are smaller. Squeezes them and forces him to open his arms to be able to insert himself between them and rest his forehead against Parcival's naked and muscular chest, sighing on his skin as he lets himself be surrounded by his arms.

Because after all Percival cannot help but welcome him, forgive him and love him, as he is. Gwaine only realizes this now and is surprised at how big Percival's heart can be in order to love someone like him.

"Will you go away in the morning?"

"No" Gwaine's response is timely "No Percy, I won't." and shakes his head, biting his lip hard to chase back tears.

Then Percival guides him to the bed, takes care of him: he undresses him, kisses every piece of skin he can reach with his lips, without getting too hurt and once under the covers, he holds him close. Gwaine doesn't even remember when it was the last time someone had treated him like this: as if he were something precious. He feels safe in his friend's arms, who hold him tight while Percival's fingers play with the long strands of his hair, cradling him. And then his warm breath against his ear, his bare chest against his back, the intertwining of their legs. All small attentions and precautions that Gwaine had never granted to anyone, but Percival was the right person. He could trust him. Always.

The next day Percival struggles to awaken from the slumber of sleep, opens his tired and swollen eyes, turns over in the blankets, while extending an arm to feel the other side of the bed and he is already terrified at the idea of finding it empty, but with his enormous surprise finds Gwaine's naked and relaxed body, still sleeping.

Percival smiles, still sleepy and although the pain was everywhere on his face, he finds himself smiling, happy after so long. He holds the knight in his arms, hears him moan something in his sleep and then return the hold, anchoring himself to him.

Percival dares not wake him up, remains silent all the time, watching him sleep and sigh happily, until he sees him blinking several times before revealing his large brown eyes.

"You are here" and Percival's smile is dazzling and beautiful

"I'm here Percy, stop staring at me" Gwaine grunts, rubbing his eyes just like a child.

Percival can't help but chuckle, almost embarrassed, he has red cheeks and hides his face in Gwaine's hair scattered on the pillow.

"You are here." He keeps saying

Gwaine feels in the air, as if flying, his heart is light and he feels a heat radiating all over his chest, which makes him feel wonderfully well and then he understands: that's love, in Percival's arms that doesn't seem minimally willing to let him go.

"I can't believe I gave up on this so far."

**Author's Note:**

> I know that this fandom is still alive so, I hope there's someone out there who will read this.  
> Thank you


End file.
